j-zord's bolg

Welcome (Back) to Fright Night

2011-08-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

August of 1987. I'm sitting in a movie theater watching a movie about vampires and having a total blast. It changed my life.

August of 2011. I'm sitting in a movie theater watching a movie about vampires and having a total blast. It had no major impact on my life.

Such is getting older.

Of course the original Fright Night wasn't the movie I was watching that Sunday summer afternoon. It was The Lost Boys, a movie I loved so much that I wrote my 4th Grade "How I Spent My Summer Vacation" entirely about seeing that movie. It was an oral report, too. In retrospect, getting up in front of 8-year-olds and vividly describing scenes from an R-rated horror film is probably not a good idea. Although it's not that much different than how I spend my time now.

Beyond a well-received homework assignment, I was inspired by The Lost Boys to carve some wooden stakes, throw them in a bag, hop on my 3-wheeler, and canvas the area for the daytime sleeping areas of vampires that I KNEW were there. I was a lot like Corey Haim's character in Silver Bullet. Except instead of a werewolf it was vamps I was after. Plus, I could use my legs; I just chose not to most of time from ages birth to 12.

And while vampire hunting could fill my days, it was watching more vampire movies - for the strict purpose of research, obviously - that filled my nights. Fright Night, was one of the first vamp movies I watched post-Lost Boys. And just like Lost Boys, Fright Night altered my world view.

I watched Scooby-doo, Elvira, and Vincent Price from a very young age, and I ate Frankenberry almost exclusively. The world of monsters was not foreign to me. But this brought me to a new level. It was my graduation to the next level of horror movie watching. The same way that after seeing Gremlins I wanted to be like Billy and read comic books and be best friends with Corey Feldman and have a Gizmo, I wanted to be like Charlie Brewster. I wanted to have monster movies on my TV, I wanted to live next door to a vampire, and, most importantly, I wanted to be Peter Vincent's sidekick. A lot of the humor in Fright Night was lost on little me. Maybe not lost, but it just wasn't a joke in my young world. This was very serious stuff.

Fright Night was was a constantly rented video throughout my childhood. Any time my dad rented two new releases (employing his tried and true method of "If they have three copies and only one is left, it MUST be good"), Fright Night was always my go-to free movie. But I usually discovered something new while looking for Fright Night. It was hard to find anything that measured up, but it expanded my view of horror movies more than I ever could have imagined. I started reading Fangoria. I lived and died (and was resurrected) by the mythology of slasher flicks. I was a one-kid Monster Squad.

My head practically exploded when I discovered the Fright Night comic book. The continuing adventures of Peter Vincent, the Great Vampire Killer, and his sidekick, Charlie Brewster? Sign me up. Literally. Fright Night was one of the only comic book subscriptions I had as a kid. But it was more of a prescription. I needed it so bad and there was no taking chances of missing a single issue. FACT: A kid snatched my copy of Fright Night #1 once and started tearing it up. I pushed him down and kicked him in the head. I have never, even to this day, been violent or really even been in a fight. That's how much Fright Night meant to me. (A few years ago I procured a mint copy to make up for my mashed and creased copy.)

And so here it is, 2011 and I'm walking into a theater alongside people who weren't even alive when the original came out, to see one of my holy grails of monsterdom remade. I'd love to have approached it as my usual, snide and cynical self, but it was a Fright Night movie. Like the last Indiana Jones movie, the quality was secondary to the fact that it was 2008 and I was walking into an Indiana Jones movie. Unlike Crystal Skull, though, I thought the new Fright Night was really, really good. Sure they changed stuff, and some of it not for the better, but the heart was intact. I still wanted to be friends with Evil Ed and hunt vampires with Peter and Charlie.

I like True Blood, but let's face it - I like it mostly for reasons my 8-year-old self would not comprehend. I hate Twilight, but let's face it - my 8-year-old-self would be smart enough to hate it, too.

I liked the new Fright Night, but let's face it - my 8-year-old self would have LOVED it.

Playing with my toys...

2011-07-26T01:06:00.000-07:00

I got this...

And then I did this...

This Month!

2011-02-06T16:06:00.000-08:00

I've neglected my blog for far too long. Sorry, little bloggy.

I'm in the midst of a month-long residency at the Ice House Tavern in Phoenix! Head over to jzord.com for the deets!

Smell you later!

This Tuesday! Comedy!

2010-09-25T00:16:00.000-07:00

Hey, gang. I'm going to be part of a really great show on Tuesday, 9/28. John Henry's Tickle Your Bone comedy show is great week after week, so I am thrilled to be part of it. Here are the particulars:

Brigett's Last Laugh
17222 N. Cave Creek Rd.
Phoenix, AZ
(Cave Creek north of Bell)

Show starts around 8 and ends around 9:30. No cover! No minimum! Drink specials! Cheap tacos!

Live Comedy!

2010-08-11T01:33:00.001-07:00

I'll be doing a short set to introduce Sean McCarthy's Seancapades Sean on Ice show on Wednesday, 8/11 at the Ice House Tavern in Phoenix. Kustom Deluxe plays from 8-8:45. Comedy starts at 9. Get there early to get a seat!

Bee Tee Double You, this show is great every week. The best local comics you can find in Phoenix.

See you there!

- zordballs

5 Reasons Not To Go To The Movies This Summer

2010-06-11T18:55:00.000-07:00

I used to wait in agony throughout the school year for the movie onslaught from May to August. My summers would be measured not by the temperature or the length of the days, but by release dates. Summer vacation would start with the big Memorial Day release, things would amp up around mid-June, peak around July, then it was wait for the late-August horror flick and then back to school. Blame it on my advancing age (and cynicism), but I get little more than a flutter of joy from summer movies. That's why this summer I've decided that staying away from multiplexes is the way to go. Here's 5 reasons why...

1. TV
I can't recall any point in my life when TV was as good as it is right now. Mad Men. True Blood. Dexter. Community. Party Down. The League. And those are just some of the shows I watch and love. So many more are out there that I've never seen and always hear great things about. There is simply not enough time to watch all of the great TV that's out there. And if new, first run shows aren't your thing, you can get your self a Netflix subscription and watch TONS of older shows or get caught up on current shows. The State. Reno 911. 30 Rock. Dexter. Party Down (good enough to mention twice). Wizards of Waverly Place (I have a problem).

2. Video Games
Three words: Red Dead Redemption. There isn't a single movie out right now that can compare to the action, excitement, drama and overall production value of RDR. A video game. I hadn't been a big gamer for years, but I've gotten back into it more than ever lately. (Okay, you can partially attribute that to my lonely hermit lifestyle, but give me a break.) The market is filled with games like RDR that have the story and character to go with the shooting, puzzle solving and treasure hunting. Go to the movies to see cars and robots (and sometimes both) mindlessly smash into each other. Stay home and fire up the PS3 if you want characters, plot and intrigue.

3. The Internet
Funny People was a great movie, but it wasn't as funny as the title wanted you to believe. If you wanted the laughs from Funny People, you just went to Funny or Die to watch Raaaaaaaandy! FOD has been on fire all year. The HBO show is great, but it's just a controlled sample of the hilarity that exists on the website. Their April Fool's prank (Beiber or Die) was classic and they've managed to get the most eclectic assortment of comedians and celebs in their original videos. There have been some great comedies out there, but you get more laughs in a 5-minute FOD video than a 90-minute Steve Carrell movie.

4. Comedy
Are you aware of how many amazing comedians there are in the world? And you can hear most of them on podcasts. For FREE. If you like comedy and you don't listen to Comedy Death Ray Radio every week, I politely ask you to check yourself. Chris Hardwick has a great podcast (The Nerdist) and so does Doug Benson (Doug Loves Movies). Never Not Funny lives up to its name. As far as comedy podcasts go, though, the Holy Hosanna of them all is SuperEgo. It's funnier than anything else in the world. Want some good comedy albums? Andy Daly's Nine Sweaters is great. So is Paul F. Tompkins' Freak Wharf. And here I go listing. Just check out any of the comedians that frequent the UCB and you'll never go wrong.

5. Movies
The A-Team and The Karate Kid are both out in the same weekend. I guess you might be interested if you weren't alive in 1985. Or maybe if you were alive then and wished it still was 1985. (Granted A-Team looks like fun. You'd have to drag me bloody and screaming to The Karate Kid, though.) This year alone, the only good movies have been based on other things: Kick-Ass and, uh, wait what was the other one? Give me a minute and I'll think of it. Most of what's out or on the way looks like microwaved leftovers from the past 20 years. So if you're jonesing for a good movie, why not watch something old that you've never seen? A Netflix subscription is about 20 bucks - about the price of two tickets. - and you can watch more great movies in a week than you'll see in a theater all summer.

I should note that there are a few movies that I am excited to see this summer, so here's a sub-list of what I'm chomping at the bit for:
1. Inception
2. Scott Pilgrim v. The Mundo
3. Um...
4. Well...
5. I'm sure there's something I'll see.

Oh, yeah! The other movie I was thinking of! Cyrus! And it's not based on anything! An original work! It opens limited on the 18th of June. Saw it at the Phoenix Film Festival this year and capital Loved it. So there's ONE reason to go to the movies this summer.

I Don't Make Monkeys...

2010-02-11T23:37:00.000-08:00

I have never made a secret of the fact that I love Pee-wee Herman. In grade school, I would use PW's lines to stand up to bullies. In college I told a girl that there were things about me that she "wouldn't, couldn't and shouldn't understand," and that I was "a loner, a rebel." And she bought it. I love that story.

When I first heard that Pee-wee Herman was making a comeback, my heart jumped into my throat. And then through it. And then out my mouth. Once I was able to settle my shit down, I grabbed tickets and began counting down the days.

Everything Paul Reubens has had to endure over the past couple of decades is utter bullshit, so it was nice to see PW get a standing ovation by doing nothing other than stepping onto the stage. The real magic began, though, after the curtain rose. The crowd went into a collective state of awe as the lights slowly came up on the picture-perfect interior of Pee-wee's Playhouse. Chairy, Conky, Globey, Magic Screen... it was sensory overload. I was staring at a place that only existed inside my TV. Pee-wee poked his head through the window in that familiar red door and walked in shouting, "Good morning, boys and girls!" And with that, transportation was complete. I screamed real loud when I heard the secret word, the King showed me a cartoon and, damn it, I had to yell "Mekka lekka hi - mekka hiney ho" so that Pee-wee could get his wish from Jambi.

The show itself was a handily updated version of the original Pee-wee Herman Show. Not too many surprises plot-wise. Captain Carl was replaced with Cowboy Curtis. (No one can fill Phil Hartman's shoes, so why even try?) The jokes were freshened up a bit and several of Pee-wee's catch phrases and signature dance moves from the movies and the TV show were incorporated and fit perfectly. There wasn't a single moment where I was taken out of the show and reminded that the man I was watching was human being and not a living, breathing cartoon.

The show's run at Club Nokia is over, but it's pretty clear that this run of comeback shows is only the beginning of PW's second career. There's still a lot of uncertainty on whether or not anything beyond a cult audience will embrace his next moves. For me, I'll follow him for whatever the next step may be and raise my glass to the long-overdue and (hopefully) never-ending return of Pee-wee Herman.

So now when anyone asks if I want to watch Pee-wee's Playhouse (which happens on a daily basis, right?), I can respond, "I don't have to see it. I lived it."

I'd still end up watching it though.

Best of 2009

2010-01-07T22:47:00.000-08:00

It's officially the year we make contact! Here's my list of favorites from the last year that can easily be made into a pair of festive New Year's Eve eyeware.

Movies

Moon
Mind-bending, funny, dramatic. Sam Rockwell is fantastic, the effects are great. Several moments reminded me of 2001 (Kubrick's movie, not the actual year) and that's never a bad thing.

The Hurt Locker
Even better than the hype led me to believe. Perfect characters. Excellent story. And my lord the tension.

Inglourious Basterds
Equal parts Spaghetti Western and French New Wave. Easily as good, if not better, than anything QT's ever done.

Up
After the first act, this movie had me in the palm of its hand. I was expecting less from the rest, but it just kept coming. Easily the best told story of any movie I saw this year.

Crazy Heart
Jeff Bridges completely disappears. There were many times that I forgot I was watching him and not Kris Kristofferson or Merle Haggard. The songs sound like they come from the era and fit perfectly.

(500) Days of Summer
Not quite the cutesy indie romance I was led to believe. It's a completely honest portrayal of relationships and a perfect little pop song of a movie.

Star Trek
Trek went rock and roll this year. It's as good as a retcon gets.

Funny People
Runs a little long, but it's always heartfelt, sincere and funny as hell.

Drag Me To Hell
Sam Raimi's still got it! Best horror flick of the year.

World's Greatest Dad
Robin Williams always seems to pop up in something and remind me that he really is great. As for Bob Goldthwait, here's to a long second career of writing and directing dark, twisted and hilarious movies.

Music

Backspacer -Pearl Jam
After a few albums of angsty protest rock, PJ busts out the most hopeful and upbeat album of their career. Doesn't overstay its welcome and leaves you wanting more.

I and Love and You - The Avett Brothers
If I want to listen to a particular song from this album, I will just play it from the start. No song is better than any other. They're all ridiculously great and get better with each listen.

Middle Cyclone - Neko Case
Lyrically, this album has no equal. "The Sistine Chapel, painted with a Gatling gun..." Neko, please.

Roots and Wings - Neal Casal
Stripped down guitars and melodic vocals. Neal is an amazing (and underappreciated) songwriter. Hell of a photographer, too.

Wilco (The Album) - Wilco
Wilco will love me? Well guess what? I love Wilco, too. This album is a perfect example of why.

Secret, Profane and Sugarcane - Elvis Costello
Elvis tearing up some roots rock. What can't this man do?

Swoon - Silversun Pickups
A perfect sequel to Carnavas. Dreamier, heavier and deeper.

Battle Studies - John Mayer
An album full of love songs about being single. I can relate.

Davy - Coconut Records
Seriously, Schwartzman. You're super fucking talented. We get it.

A Strange Arrangement - Mayer Hawthorne
Ooh Lord. THIS is great soul album.

TV

Community
It's only halfway through its first season, but I can't think of the last time I was this rabidly obsessed with a sitcom. God willing this show will be around long enough to jump the shark.

True Blood
It's almost too ridiculous for its own good, and that is what makes it so damn awesome. You can keep Edward and Bella. I'm on Team Bill and Sookie.

Bored to Death
A slacker-noir? Sign me up. Permanently.

Eastbound & Down
As off-putting as it is hilarious, and that's just how I prefer my comedy.

Flight of the Conchords
If this really was their last season, well, better to burn out than fade away...

(I know that's only 5. I'm a creature of habit and stuck to my usuals. I guess I'd round out the 10 with Lost, Battlestar Galactica, 30 Rock, Mad Men, Dexter.)

Glad the best of last year is out of the way by the middle of January. Next time on the bolg, a recap of my trip to the Playhouse. Paging Mr. Herman...

More to come...

2010-01-02T16:57:00.000-08:00

I'll be making my annual visit to this blog soon to post my faves of 2009. Stay tuned!

Movies and Music of 2008

2009-01-01T04:40:00.000-08:00

I wrote this a while ago, but for whatever reason never actually posted it. I want to get the monkey off my back, so here goes.

My 10 favorite movies of 2008...

The Wrestler
I love everything that Darren Aronofsky has ever done (including The Fountain), but this is just through the stratosphere. It's equal parts uplifting and heartbreaking, with the most perfectly ambiguous ending of any movie this year.

In Bruges

It's sharp and witty, and never holds back a single punch. The cast is stellar, and it's incredibly well-written, too.

The Dark Knight
What can I say about this one? I've watched it 4 or 5 times and I am consistently shocked at how well it holds up for repeat viewings. There's a lot of complexity and depth - the Batman franchise has come a long way in 12 years.

Role Models

This is exactly what a mainstream comedy should be. A lot of the great comedies that have come out over the last few years (Superbad, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, etc.) mix a good heart with a sick mind. For my money, Role Models does that better than anything else.

The Good, The Bad & The Weird
The director of Tale of Two Sisters made a western. Not just any western, but a big, fat, beautiful homage to the greatest western of all-time. What else do I need to say?

JCVD
Mickey Rourke has some major competition in the comeback department this year. I hesitate to simply say that Van Damme proves he can act with this movie. He's exorcising demons. The biggest complement I can give this movie, though, is that it doesn't buy into the ironic action hero bullshit. Plus, it has two of the most amazing single-shot moments I've seen in a long time - the opening credit sequence and Van Damme's wall-breaking monologue.

Synecdoche, NY
It's so distinctly Charlie Kaufman, it's no wonder that it didn't really catch on. It's bleak and hopeless, yet funny the whole time. I can relate.

Tropic Thunder
I wasn't crazy about this movie the first time I saw it. Then I saw it again. And again.

Let The Right One In
The best fucking vampire movie in a long time. It gets so quiet and serene that I wasn't expecting the full-on holy shit moments - and that's EXACTLY what you need from a horror movie.

Doomsday
If somehow I hit my head and then started thinking that every movie I love was actually just one movie - that movie would be Doomsday.

And now for the music...

The Cardinals - Cardinology
When I was a kid, I went to Florida with my family and took a walk out in the ocean with my cousins. I got hit by a large (well, large for my six-year-old body) wave and it knocked me stupid. I was completely under the water. But my cousin Leslea was right there and valiantly reached into the (three-foot-deep) water and pulled me back up. That's kind of how I feel about Cardinology. While I do love the music, I put it here more for its self-help qualities. Great music is timeless, but the stuff that really sticks with you is the stuff that gets you through the hard times.

Butch Walker - Sycamore Meadows
After losing most of his earthly possessions to a California Wildfire, Butch Walker made a great record about taking stock of the past and contemplating the future. It packs an emotional wallop and still manages to be hooky as hell.

Army Navy - s/t
I love every second of this album. From its fuzzy guitars to the melodies, there's not a thing on here I could do without. This is where you'll find my favorite song of the year - Snakes of Hawaii.

Jeff Bruckner - Take Me To The West Coast
My favorite straight-up power pop album this year. It's catchy and clever, with bits of darkness mixed in. Kind of like a musical marble cake.

Marching Band - Spark Large
I've found myself putting this on when I'm in an especially great mood. I've also found myself putting it on when I'm a mopey sad bastard. It's rare that I find an album that's multi-mood playable.

Sloan - Parallel Play
Sloan. Doing what they do, and doing it well. I need nothing else.

The Raconteurs - Consolers of the Lonely
Jack White and Brendan Benson continue to be greater than the sum of their parts. They each take the driver's seat on a mind-blowing track: Carolina Drama for Jack, and Many Shades of Black for Brendan.

Julie Ocean - Long Gone and Nearly There
This was the first domino to fall in the power pop surge I experienced this year. It reminded me of why I love power pop: simplicity, power chords and handclaps.

Matthew Sweet - Sunshine Lies
I wouldn't directly call this a comeback, but Matthew Sweet's been mixing it up over the past few years and it's extraordinarily comforting to know that he's still got it. It rocks and it soars, all the while carrying the vulnerable swagger of his best work.

Couple - Teenage Disc Fantastic
Malaysian power-pop at its absolute finest.

And that's it. I didn't bother with TV or comics, since I've mostly been sticking with my old standbys in those arenas. Lost was great, Scalped was great, etc. Yawn!

SkyMall Christmas List

2008-12-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

I just realized that Christmas is tomorrow and I haven't really put any kind of list together. I realize that this is terribly short notice, but I've tried to simplify the shopping process by only selecting gifts that can be purchased while traveling. Every item on my list is available directly from SkyMall.

Litter Robot

I don't own a cat, nor do I ever intend to own a cat. HOWEVER, if a cat came with this amazing space robot of a litter box, I might reconsider. I mean, look at that little fucker. I'm not sure if he's telling me that he just took a huge shit or that he's a go for launch. Either way...

Embellished Bible

An embellished bible. Well, at least they're admitting it now. If nothing else, the photo makes it look like you could raise the dead and fight vampires with it, too.

Super Sized Safari Animals

My personal choice would probably be the giraffe. You would think I'd go for the chimp, but it looks too much like something out of a Kubrick film. I look at the picture and I'm just waiting for it to move - not a desired quality in a stuffed animal.

Solar Powered Mole Repeller

I get the impression that this thing fires laser beams at intruding moles. If that doesn't work, though, I bet you could at least use this to beat the shit out of a mole or impale it. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination.

Gravity-Defying Boots

You think people look ridiculous on Segways? Wait 'til you see me hopping down the road with these on my feet, defying the shit out of some gravity.

Elephant Sculptural Sconce

Can elephants really do that? I would actually prefer having a real elephant follow me around with a candle, but I will settle for this. I suppose.

Forget-Me-Not Heart Pendant

Michael Phelps can fuck off, because eight gold medals don't even come close to one of these.

Toothbrush Razor UV Sanitizer

For $17 bucks this actually seems quite useful. I'm not sure that I would sanitize my shaving razors along with my toothbrush, though.

Embossed Denim Jackets

I can't think of a better way to display my patriotism or my love of country music than by wearing one of these bad boys. They're classy and tasteful - and not all denim jackets are.

NoseAid

I thought the price seemed a bit high for this, but then I realized that it had been reduced from $29.95. Score! I haven't had a nosebleed since I was 10, but you can never be too careful, right?

See, that's not a lot. Really not too much to ask for by tomorrow. I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight for sure. Santa can fuck himself, though, because this year I'm leaving cookies and milk out for the SkyMall delivery man.

Sleep all day, party all night...

2008-08-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

It's fun to be a vampire, right? I'm sure a lot of people watched The Lost Boys back in the day and wanted to be one of the undead. Likewise, many people have probably watched Lost Boys 2 and just wanted to be dead.

Despite being warned, I still subjected myself to Lost Boys 2: Your Sister's a Suck-Monkey. My hopes weren't high. At best, I thought it could be a fun, nostalgia-driven throwaway. Sadly, It's not fun at all. The only bits of nostalgia are regurgitated lines from the original. It does, however, succeed in the throwaway department. I sent the disc back to Netflix, but I would rather have just thrown it in the trash.

Power-pop goodness...

2008-06-28T01:26:00.000-07:00

I can't seem to get enough of Julie Ocean. Their new album, Long Gone and Nearly There, is in constant rotation on my iPod. It's a perfect power-pop gem. I blame this album for sucking up all my eMusic downloads; after listening to it a few dozen times, I had the insatiable appetite for more. Power-pop is like that - the better it is, the more you want.

Here's a video of the band listening to (and clapping along with) one of the tracks from their record. Oh, and they're holding their breath through the whole thing, too.

And if that's not enough, one of the members is also a reporter for CNN and got tased for a story. Watch that here.

We have a happening event...happening

2008-06-22T16:05:00.000-07:00

Finally got around to seeing The Strangers last night. I liked it. The end was a bit unsatisfying, but overall it was pretty tense. A good alternate title for it would be: Look Behind You, Bitch! - The Movie. I haven't had such a strong and frequent urge to yell at a movie in a long time - probably not since Dragon Wars.

Also saw The Happening. It's worth seeing just for Zooey Deschanel. Also, if you've ever wanted to see a guy commit suicide by feeding himself to lions, it has that.

Finally going to watch The Signal tonight. I was shaving my back the three seconds it was in theaters, so I missed it.

The Way I See It #326

2008-03-26T23:54:00.000-07:00

Starbucks needs to start printing “The Way I See It” on the sleeve, not on the cup. I end up reading half the story and never find out how it ends. I suppose I could slide the sleeve down, but I’ve usually got it wedged in just the right spot for my grip. They could throw the entire “Way I See It” out the window and start printing poker cups like instant coffee machines. I’d probably just spill it all over myself trying to see if I won, though. Maybe they can find a way to put the Starbucks mermaid on the cup wearing a bikini, and then have bikini disappear when hot coffee is poured in. I’d buy that for 5 dollars.

No Country For Infected Men

2008-03-15T15:30:00.000-07:00

Doomsday was completely off my radar when I saw a trailer for it a few months back. I liked Neil Marshall's two previous movies, Dog Soldiers and The Descent, and I thought this looked like a nice little John Carpenter homage. Nothing amazing, but worthy of a late movie after a few beers.

My expectations were blown completely out of the water.

Yeah, the movie is heavy on the Escape From New York influence, but it doesn't stop there. There's touches of Mad Max, The Warriors, Excalibur and even Apocalypse Now. The list could go on. Doomsday is an unbelievable mash-up of a movie. The blurb below describes it well:

"Neil Marshall cobbles together his third feature, in the manner of a junk-food glutton topping a pizza with French onion dip, ice cream, and four bags of Cool Ranch Doritos."
- Jim Ridley, LA Weekly

That's actually from a negative review. I don't see how, when you're dealing with a b-movie premise to begin with, that's a bad thing. It's not thrown together as the blurb implies - with the laziness of just grabbing whatever ingredients are around and adding it to the pile. There's a streak of deliberate chaos that drives this movie. It is all over the place and that is what makes it great. Just when you think it's settling down it shifts entirely. Just when you think you've seen it all, you haven't. I gave up trying to figure out where it was going and just let the movie kick my ass. And kick my ass it did.

It is so over the top that I forgot where the top even was in the first place. Never once, though, does it offer a self-aware wink-wink, nudge-nudge moment. The movie practically feels like it could've been made in 1984. It's wonderfully ridiculous - and it's also the most purely entertaining movie I've seen in a long, long time.

Unfortunately, it's not doing to well at the box office. It's will probably be on video by early summer, I would guess. I'm sure it'll be on DVD and Blu-ray, but it'd be just as at home on a VHS tape.

List de 2007

2008-01-05T03:09:00.000-08:00

Now that I've had an opportunity to sort through my mental excrement from the past year, it's time to highlight those golden nuggets of corn and come up with a...

LIST OF THE BEST THINGS FROM 2007.

I'm not categorizing this beast, nor am I placing it in any order. It's just 25 things that I enjoyed in 2007. (Just a friendly note: If you want to go to any of the links while you're in the middle of this, right-click and open in a new tab or in a new window.)

Ben Lee - Ripe

Ripe is a near-perfect collection of pop songs. Simple as that. It's an album that's proud to be catchy, not afraid to be funny, and not shy about being sentimental. All the while it stays honest - no irony, no tongues in cheeks. It's a bit of a rarity these days. (And Ben does deserve bonus points for covering Against Me!'s album New Wave - and making it a free download on his website.)

Grindhouse

Taken separately, Planet Terror and Death Proof lose the magic that was Grindhouse. Taken in the context of one another (and helped by some brilliant fake trailers) their greatness exceeds the sum total of their individual parts.

Clark and Michael

I always loved Michael Cera on Arrested Development, so I was thrilled when I found out he had his own web show. But if it's Cera that gets me in the door, it's Clark Duke that makes me stay for dessert. They're the Laverne and Shirley of online videos. Check them out here.

Flight of the Conchords

And by Flight of the Conchords I mean the band and the show. The songs are a riot, and they only get better when put into the context of the show. Like Clark and Michael, Jemaine and Bret take turns playing the straight man in their comic bits, and the results are golden.
Here's one of my favorite musical nuggets from the show, from the episode where the boys get mugged:

Once

It's a story about a street musician that takes a beat-up acoustic guitar and plays his heart out. The movie feels like it was made the same way. It's rough around the edges and it's simple - but it packs in a lot of emotion and some of the most memorable scenes of any movie from 2007. Like any great song, I've had it stuck in my head since I saw it. I know I'm not ranking this list, but if I had a gun to my head I would put Once right at the top.
Here's a scene/song:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Giving a satisfying finish to a seven-book saga should be an impossible feat. It's not, though. HP7 is every bit of the sweeping, emotionally-charged epic that it needs to be. I could do without the pretty ribbon of a final chapter, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

Lost

It had a slow start and a few misfires along the way, but this season's finale was probably the best two hours of television I've watched in my lifetime. (The best first-run anyway. I did watch a two-hour Three's Company block on TV Land once.)

Madman

2007 gave us the return of Madman in a really big way - and in a really big book. Madman Gargantua is the perfect book for Madman fans and newcomers - an oversized collection of all the Madman you need. Madman also returned to new stories in Image's Madman Atomic Comics. It seems like the absence did a lot of good for Mike Allred's approach to Madman and his universe. The art and the stories seem fresh, original, and ready to boldly go where no (Mad)man has gone before.

Battlestar Galactica

I've been watching a lot of older sci-fi movies lately, mainly because there isn't a lot of really good sci-fi being made right now. The one glaring exception, though, is BSG. Each season digs deeper into the drama, and the closer it gets to the end the better and better it gets.

The Host

One thing that is really absent on this list is horror. That's because 2007 was an absolute shit year for horror movies. The current horror cycle is nearing its end, which means all those brutal torture movies are being run into the ground and bled for more than they're worth. The Host was such a change of pace - it's a giant monster movie for one thing. For another, it's got a really unique mix of drama, comedy and scares. Here's to hoping that The Host ushers in a new horror cycle - GIANT MONSTERS. (Cloverfield is just around the corner, so who knows?)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8

I'm not a fan of tie-in books. Granted I did buy every issue of the Robocop comic when I was 11, but I've since learned my lesson. I never read any of the other Buffy comics (including Fray), but I couldn't resist finding out what happens to Buffy and the gang after season 7. It's a perfect continuation of the TV series.

The Comas - Spells

It's equally spooky and catchy, with crunchy guitar sounds carrying it along for most of the ride. Sometimes I'll find an album that I almost never make it all the way through because I keep finding songs that I have to hear over and over again. This is one of those albums.
Here's the video for Come My Sunshine:

30 Rock

There's a quote from Gene Siskel that I think of often - "I always ask myself, 'Is the movie that I am watching as interesting as a documentary of the same actors having lunch together?'". 30 Rock is that quote. We never really see the sketches the end up on TGS, but we see everything that goes on while they're being made. While Saturday Night Live is rarely hysterically funny, 30 Rock rarely isn't.

Criminal

I really don't need to say much about Criminal, do I? Regardless of medium, it's one of the best crime stories running. Period. (Wait, if this is written do I have to actually write out the word 'period' to emphasize the point? Shouldn't the fact that I used a period at the end of that sentence suffice? Question mark?)

Wainy Days

David Wain was probably the least camera-friendly member the Stella trio, but that's exactly why Wainy Days works. David Wain (the character) searches for love and hilarity ensues (and people get pushed over). It's got the off-beat sense of humor that you'd expect from that guy that made Wet Hot American Summer, The State, and Stella. Watch the episodes here. Give David Wain bonus points for directing the underrated (and bizarre) comedy The Ten. (It's on DVD Jan. 15th, so check it out if you missed it in theaters.)

Trailers From Hell

My absolute favorite new website in the world. Take old trailers, add humorous and insightful commentary from filmmakers and you've got a site that I can (and have) spent hours at a time on. What's so great about the site is the variety of trailers and filmmakers that they bring in. Sometimes it's a great movie, sometimes it's not, but the comments are always interesting.
Here's one of my favorites: John Landis on the Edward D. Wood, Jr. penned The Bride and the Beast:

The Monster Squad

Well worth the wait, The Monster Squad finally hit DVD in a loaded two-disc set. The extras are fun and informative and the movie itself looks and sounds great. It's a lot more than I ever would've asked for, but I'll gladly take it.

Zodiac

It's a straight-up, detailed true crime story with a less-than-tidy ending. The cast is great, and the film is exceptionally well-written and well-made. And Robert Downey, Jr. devours every second that he's on screen. There isn't anything else a movie needs, really.

The Darjeeling Limited

It's nice to see that Wes Anderson followed his most disjointed and uneven film with his most restrained and cohesive. It's undeniably an Anderson movie, but he manages to not let his tricks become his cliches. At the same time, Owen Wilson gives pretty much his best performance ever, redeeming himself for a lot (but not all) of the shit he's been in over the past few years.

American Virgin

While Y The Last Man has been gearing up for the big finale (and going bi-monthly in the process), American Virgin has helped make up for Y's every-other-month absence. The story's been building up and it's really become the most readily engrossing comic on my pull list. Sadly, its run will be ending soon. If the past few issues are any indicator, though, it's at least going to go out an a high note. If you've never read the book, click here to read the entire first issue.

Sweeney Todd

I'm not a big fan of musicals, but the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp combo gives this movie the here-comes-the-airplane approach that suits me. It's really great to see that Tim Burton still has a few new tricks up his sleeve. It may be a musical, but this is really a horror movie. Burton knows the horror dishes well, but he rarely serves them up as a main course. It's nice to see him using that Hammer Horror influence again. (Alan Rickman as villain has never hurt a movie, either.)

Scalped

Criminal is amazing, but it may need to watch its back. Scalped is a gritty crime thriller that's managed to build a lot of momentum into the story arcs while also taking the time to dip into the minutia of the characters and the (often dirty) world they live in. Read the first issue here.

Waitress

Of course I'm going to like the movie with Andy Griffith! It's (sort of) a romantic comedy that's carried by some really great performances. It may come as a shock, but I've never seen an episode of Felicity and had very little knowledge of Keri Russell prior to this. She's fantastic in it - and so is everyone else. Especially Andy Griffith.

Rifftrax

The MST3K way lives on at Rifftrax. While I wish they'd lay off the good movies, these guys do their job well when they're working with something like, say, Troll 2. Admittedly, I had lost interest in the 'trax, but they pulled me back with their track for the Star Wars Holiday Special. Anything that can get me to sit through that shit-bomb for two hours certainly belongs on my list.

Coconut Records

Jason Schwartzman needs to be taken out. He's far too talented for his own good and now he's just showing off. It's not enough that he co-wrote and gave a terrific performance in The Darjeeling Limited. He also had to go and put out one of the best albums of the year. It's quirky, catchy, and extremely easy to listen to. It was the only CD in my car for a few weeks, but I never really seemed to mind.
Here's a video for the song 'West Coast':

Welp, there you have it... Bring it on 2008! Do your worst!

How Do You Not Know That?

2007-12-04T20:11:00.000-08:00

This post is long overdue. Way back in August I went over to beautiful North Hollywood to make a short film with some old friends. It's a sequel to a previous short, Nun Chuck Taylor. Before you watch the sequel, see where it all began...

By the way...These are FAKE trailers. Sadly, neither are actual feature length films. Anyway, now that you've seen that one, check out the sequel...

Both of these were directed by my good pal Timmy Bearden and star my other good pal Greg Stone as Nun Chuck Taylor. In the sequel another old pal, Werner, plays the most ridiculously awesome Renfield ever. I, obviously, play Dracula. Thanks to my Eddie-Munsterish looks, I was a natural for the part. I also did most of the make-up for part 2. Namely the zombie, Renfield, and my own. Chaney and Savini had better watch their backs.

It was a blast to spend a long weekend making a short film with these guys. You haven't lived until you've gone to Home Depot and asked for vampire-killing stakes. If you enjoyed either of these, please go to the YouTube page for the video and comment/rate and tell your friends to do the same. If you didn't enjoy it, well, just quietly navigate back to the Yanni message boards and vent your frustrations there - it's really the best way to get a message out there.

Halloween: The Final Chapter

2007-11-07T00:16:00.000-08:00

I usually don't consider Halloween to be over until either Day of the Dead or The Simpsons Treehouse of Terror, whichever comes first. It's really just a good excuse for me to squeeze in those last few movies that I couldn't get to before October 31st. Helping me in my quest was the fact that I was sick with some sort of Californian Whooping Cough - lots of rest means lots of laying on the couch which means lots of movies. I did manage to get out of the house for a few movies, too.

The night before Halloween, I took in 30 Days of Night, a movie that I was eagerly anticipating 3 years ago. Once it finally hit theaters I was really indifferent towards it (Josh Hartnett can have that affect). With neither high nor low expectations, I have to say that it really blew me away. Wait, let me rephrase that. It really blew. If Underworld is your idea of a great vampire movie, then this is THE movie for you. There's no logic to it, no depth, no character, no humor. It's a overly-glossy flick that approaches all the scares by under-cranking the camera and overdoing the blood. Someone should've told the filmmakers that vampires DRINK blood, they don't just spill it everywhere. Remember the scene from A Christmas story where Randy finally eats his dinner by showing his mom how the piggies eat? That's how the vampires in this movie drink the blood of their victims. And they speak Klingon, too. The concept is great, the execution is just way off. Maybe they should try it again but trade out the vampires for Gremlins. Who WOULDN'T go see that?

On Halloween night, we just headed up to the AMC to see Nightmare Before Chirstmas in 3-D. Plan 9 was playing across town and I really wanted to throw on the Robot Monster costume and go. Alas, my growing cold swayed me to want to stay closer to home, not to mention out of a gorilla suit. I love Nightmare in 3-D. I saw it last year and I think whatever they're doing with this Real D technology is amazing. I'm sad Vincent wasn't before it - I heard that it was going to be in 3-D and added for this year. Oh well, maybe next year.
While they're at it, they need to bring back Monster House in 3-D for next Halloween. Even if it's not in 3-D, though, it's still a really great movie. I happily watched it from my couch on Saturday afternoon - part of a long stretch of rest and DVDs that helped me shake the AIDS or whatever I had. It's a perfect companion to movies like The Goonies. Or, say, The Monster Squad, which I absolutely had to watch for Halloween since it's finally on DVD. And what better way to watch it than to pair it up with Fred Dekker's other masterpiece, Night of the Creeps? THAT is a perfect double feature.

Speaking of double features, I found an odd Anchor Bay double feature at Amoeba and couldn't pass it up: The Pit and Hellgate. I had watched The Pit when I was younger - no doubt I picked it up after watching The Gate, thinking that it would be similar. It's really nothing like The Gate, and I was probably too young to fully appreciate it at the time. It's the story of a troubled young boy named Jamie. He takes his orders from his teddy bear and he feeds people he doesn't like to the troglodytes that live in a hole in the woods. Oh, and he's a complete perv, too. The Pit is insanely awesome and bizarre. The other movie in the double feature, Hellgate, is a super low-budget 80's horror film about a ghost town. It stars Ron Palillo. Yes, Horshack. (Caution: there's more of Ron Palillo in this movie that you could ever want to see.) Honestly, it's a really bad movie, but it's good bad. B-movie charm can go a long way, and it certainly bails Hellgate out.

To end my DVD watching, I popped in a Freddy/Jason double feature. I paired my two favorites from each series, Nightmare 3 and Friday 4. The original Nightmare is a great movie - better than any of the sequels for sure. Nightmare 3, though, was the movie that made Freddy what he is today. The original put him into people's fears, but Dream Warriors turned him into a rock star, a cartoon, an action figure and an icon. As for Friday 4, well, I don't think there is any one Friday movie that got everything right - you'd have to take elements from all 10(!) to get it perfect. The Final Chapter is the one that punches the most buttons, though. There's a great cast, highlighted by Crispin Glover and Corey Feldman, a great slasher director, Joe Zito, and makeup f/x by the man himself, Tom Savini. Plus it has the absolute best recap of any horror sequel around.

As for this year's Treehouse of Terror - it was okay. How a Mr. and Mrs. Smith parody fits into the terror angle I'm not sure, though. Oh well. Now I can get back to watching some non-horror stuff without feeling guilty about it.

Giant Zombie Animals!

2007-10-21T14:53:00.000-07:00

While trying to maximize my Halloween horror viewing, I inadvertently put a string together a nice little string of movies. Over the course of a few days, I went from Black Sheep to Food of the Gods and then over to Alligator. Somewhere deep in my subconscious, I believe I’m completely terrified of animals. Well, I guess when you consider my abnormal fear of snakes and reptiles, I AM completely terrified of animals. Some of them, anyway.

I really wanted to see Black Sheep on the big screen, but sadly, it never made it to Phoenix. I should say, however, that this is NOT the Black Sheep starring Chris Farley and David Spade, but a new film from New Zealand about killer sheep. It’s a lot of fun and would rightfully earn a comparison to another New Zealand horror film – Dead Alive. It’s clever, it has depth, and it’s fun and gory. It’s also kind of scary. As scary as a movie about killer sheep can be, I guess. I was reminded of The Birds - these seemingly docile animals suddenly turn on humans and cause lots of chaos. It’s not quite as scary since sheep don’t fly, but I will think twice next time I go to the petting zoo. Because, you know, I go to the petting zoo ALL THE TIME.

Food of the Gods is a new-to-DVD classic (from MGM, no less). It’s one of those giant animal movies that uses rear projection and normal-sized animals in tiny-sized models to pull off its tricks. When I was a kid, it was one of my favorites, along with the giant rabbit flick Night of the Lepus. This is a great example of a movie that is actually worse off for having been given a nice, clean DVD transfer. The fake effects look even more fake. Regardless, the movie is worth a watch, even if for no other reason than the giant chicken scene.

Alligator is clearly the best of the three. For a Jaws rip-off, it’s extremely well written and well made. The drama, the scares, and even the cheese (oh yes, there will be cheese) are balanced perfectly. The film was written by John Sayles, (who also wrote another excellent Jaws imitator, Piranha), and there’s a great interview with him on the DVD.

I better wrap this one up. It’s almost time for me to find out what this top-secret closing night movie is at the International Horror and Sci Fi Blahblablah….

Please don’t be Saw IV… Please don’t be Saw IV… Please don’t be Saw IV…

'Tis the Season...

2007-10-09T21:18:00.000-07:00

...to watch as many horror movies as humanly possible.

September and October are the best months for DVD releases, no doubt. That's when every studio dumps out a new batch of catalog horror. It's been a bit light the past few years, but this year is really making up for lost time.

One of the biggest gaps last year was the absence of any of MGM's fantabulous Midnite Movies series, especially the double features. Now, thanks to Fox Home Video taking over MGM, Midnite Movies are back with a bang. Fox has even added some of their own titles to the Midnite Movies series, including Tales From the Crypt (from the 70's, not the HBO series) and Vault of Horror - all in one low-priced two-disc set.

Now that the DVD format has been around for awhile, we are seeing more and more deep-catalog releases, but we're also seeing more and more of the dreaded double-dips. As the life of normal DVD dwindles away, it should come as no surprise that studios repackage big sellers with meaningless extras in an effort to squeeze every last drop of cash out of their libraries. I normally won't go for the multiple-dip, but I had to bite at the new version of Return of the Living Dead. Next to the Romero movies, this is easily my favorite zombie flick. The new version gives a few new worthy extras. Most notable is a short documentary on horror in the 80's. It does double as a commercial for MGM horror titles, but they have the catalog to back it up. There are also some great interview clips with guys like John Landis and Joe Dante, so it's definitely worth a watch. And if you're still not sold, it comes in super-groovy glow-in-the-dark packaging!

This year also gave us the long awaited release of The Witchfinder General (a/k/a The Conqueror Worm), fully remastered and restored. Vincent Price steps a little bit out of the norm with his performance, dropping a lot of the campy quirks that we all know and love. It's widely considered to be his best performance, and while I wouldn't call it my personal favorite, it certainly is one of his more exceptional roles. Word is that the director, Michael Reeves, wanted a different actor to play the role, but was forced to use Price, who was under contract form the studio. Because of that, he wasn't exceptionally nice to Vincent. That could explain the darker tone of his performance. Whatever the case, it was the director's last movie. He died shortly after the movie was released. Lesson: don't mess with Vincent Price.

In addition to all the great MGM DVDs, there are a lot of great and not-so-great horror flicks that I'll be watching like crazy over the next few weeks. I'll try to write about as many of them as possible.

Unless, of course, the bogeyman gets me first.

The Billy and Jimmy Show

2007-09-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday, the quote-unquote Smashing Pumpkins rolled into Phoenix. Being that I’m a total sucker, I jumped at the chance to get pit passes, and Alyssa and I went.

I’ve been a huge fan of the Pumpkins since Siamese Dream, and I’ve seen them live many times. When they split in 2000, I made it a mission to go to one of their farewell shows. Nosebleed seats at the United Center where the best I could come up with, but it didn’t matter to me. It was going to be the last time I’d get to see the Pumpkins, and it was an amazing show.

Flash forward seven years. Billy Corgan and Jimmy Chamberlain have one failed attempt to start another band. Billy releases a book of poetry and a lackluster solo album. With that in mind, it shouldn’t really come as a surprise to see that the Smashing Pumpkins are back. It is a bit disappointing though. I can’t say that I’m happy that James and D’arcy (or even Melissa Auf der Mar) aren’t around for the comeback, but it doesn’t bother me as much as the fact that the Pumpkins are back after making such a big deal out of the end. It looks like just another of the cash-in comebacks and reunions that have been popping up over the past few years.

When the new album came out, I was shocked to find that it was actually good. Really good, in fact. It picks up right where the sounds of Machina (as well as Zwan’s Mary Star of the Sea) left off. It even seems to drop some of the self-indulgences that bogged down the later Pumpkins albums. It’s no Siamese Dream, but it’s certainly no Future Embrace, either.

The new album was not enough to make me surrender to Pumpkins 2.0, though. The live show would be the ultimate deal-breaker. The biggest concern is, obviously, the new band members. There’s no mistaking that this time around it’s clearly The Billy and Jimmy Show, and the newbies do what they need to – they don’t get in the way, and they don’t stand out.

My other big concern was the setlist. I fully expected to get a greatest hits set, designed for the masses. (And maybe a few new songs, just to push record sales.) I have to admit, I was blown away by the set. Not only was it not a greatest hits set, it was heavy on new material and long jams. Hits were peppered in, along with a few deeper cuts. Starla, Hummer, and an organ-fueled version of Glass + Ghost Children were some of the bigger surprises. It was a two-and-a-half hour epic that went from heavy to quiet and back again.

Looking past all of the bullshit that is sitting just under the surface of this “reunion,” I can’t say too many negative things about the new Pumpkins. The situation does reek of desperation, but the music itself doesn’t. I really wanted to not like them, but I do. It’s certainly different, and arguably not as good as it used to be, but it could have been a whole lot worse. The cynic in me may not be happy, but it looks like I’m still a Smashing Pumpkins fan.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

2007-09-14T14:23:00.000-07:00

It’s that time of year – back to school. All those crazy kids, with their iPods and light-up sneakers, are making the transition from summer to fall. For a lot of those kids, that means writing the dreaded “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” report. I still remember, quite vividly, the report I gave at the beginning of my fourth grade year. I was – and still am – an indoor kid. Back then, summer didn’t really mean fishing or baseball, but movies. If I was pressed, I couldn’t tell you what movies even came out in the summer of 1987, save for one – the movie that my “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” report was all about. That movie was The Lost Boys.

At the ripe old age of 9, I was no stranger to R-rated movies. My only exposure to them, however, was through home video. The Lost Boys owns the glorious distinction of being the very first R-rated movie that I ever saw in a theater. I wish I had a story about sneaking in, telling my mom I was going to see Harry and the Hendersons and going to see the R-rated vampire movie instead. The truth is that my parents took me on a Sunday afternoon, not too long after church let out. I begged for weeks to see the movie. I could be wrong, but I seem to remember that the deal was that if I behaved in church, we go see the movie that afternoon. The world record for best behaved kid in church was probably set that day.

I’m not sure what happened that, of all things that summer, seeing this movie was the most memorable – and worthy of a summer vacation report. The report itself was written as well as oral. Everybody had to get up in front of the class and tell a little bit about their summer. I’m not completely sure of what I covered in my report, but I remember special detail being given to the garlic-flavored holy water and the Frog Brothers. Shortly after seeing the movie, I dubbed myself an honorary Frog Brother. (They hunt vampires and run a comic book store – what more do you need from life?) I used to carry a wooden stake around our massive back yard and the surrounding area and hunt vampires. (I was kind of obsessed.)

My imagination didn’t end with the Frog Brothers, though. I had a three-wheeler back then, and I would often ride it as fast as I could, imagining that I was Michael trying to “just keep up” to David and the boys on a ride to Hudson’s Bluff. All the while “Lost in the Shadows” played loudly in my head. (Okay, so I was really obsessed.)

At that age, Corey Feldman was a major hero of mine. The Goonies, Gremlins, Friday the 13th, Stand By Me – he was in practically all of my favorite movies at the time. With the Feld-dog already established, The Lost Boys brought the Haimster onto my radar. Since this was the first movie they teamed up on, I followed their collaborative work religiously. I was – okay, still am – a Two Coreys fanatic. I will freely admit to having a massive License to Drive poster plaster on my wall back then. (If I knew where it was, it would still be plaster on my wall.)

The only 2 things that I needed to make my 9-year-old life complete would’ve been: (1) a Lost Boys 2 and (2) my very own set of Lost Boys action figures. Now, all these years later, I’m finally getting what I want. NECA is about to release the first pair of Lost Boys action figures. Warner Bros. has just started shooting The Lost Boys 2. The word is that the Coreys are back and the Frog Brothers are back. The word is also that this is a straight-to-DVD cash in on a property that has been very lucrative for Warners over the years. I have my many doubts, but I can’t not be excited that The Lost Boys 2 is finally a reality.

The Lost Boys turned 20 years old this year- on July 31st to be exact. It is a complete product of the 80’s, and it’s one of the very few movies of that time that not only holds up well, but improves with age. It’s dated in the way that any movie older than 10 years would be, but that doesn’t get in the way. In fact, it makes the movie better. It’s worthy of a museum or a time capsule. The same way that someone might use Rebel Without a Cause to showcase youth culture in the 50’s, I would use The Lost Boys for the 80’s.

I guess I’m just as obsessed with the movie today as I was 20 years ago. That’s a good thing. I think.

Comicon Wind-down

2007-09-07T18:24:00.000-07:00

I know this is long past the time of relevance, but that's just how long it took me to recover from Comicon 2007…

If Attention Deficit Disorder were an actual place that you could visit, it would be San Diego Comicon. There is literally so much going on at once that you would have to clone yourself three or four times just to be able to adequately absorb it. While I’ve never actually participated in a rodeo, and I have no intention to ever do so, I can only imagine that riding a bull is a lot like going to Comicon. You just dig in, hang on, and try to get as much in as you can until the bull tosses you off - of the saddle that is. (But by the end of the con I did feel bit like I had been tossed off by a bull, if you catch my drift.)

Preview Night is a perfect opportunity to get an early lay-of-the-land before everything gets too crowded. It’s also a great time to catch a few early celebrity sightings, such as Lou Ferigno, TV’s The Incredible Hulk! It’ll cost you to for a photo-op or an autograph. Alyssa, however, managed to sneak a photo of him. Luckily he didn’t notice, thus keeping that gamma-fueled rage at bay.

On the first official day of the con, I was awestruck by the number of people that wait in massive lines to purchase convention-exclusive toys. I really can’t imagine what would be worth waiting in one of those lines for. Unless you’re talking about a replica Copper Bones key from The Goonies, that is. That’s well worth a wait. Seriously, though, I can understand the convention exclusive thing. It’s the stuff that you can usually get them cheaper online anytime (plus you don’t have to lug all that junk around.) I decided before I even set foot in the exhibitor hall that I would throw that rule out the window. That is why I now own Frankenberry, Boo Berry, and Count Chocula Kubricks. Speaking of Frankenberry, he’s a lovely fellow and we had a nice chat out on the con floor.

Oddly enough, I don’t recall seeing anyone in a Frankenberry costume, but I think I saw a costume from just about everything else ever made. Eye candy is one of the main reasons to go to something like this, and you can’t do much better than to see Batman posing with the entire rouges gallery. I wish I had snapped more pictures, but Alyssa took a lot. (She took most of the ones below.)

It's raining Spider-Men:

The requisite Klingons:

The requisite Stormtroopers:

A Slave Leia (one of many [some of which really shouldn't have]):

Someone dressed as Elvira:

(Oh wait - that really IS Elvira. You never know who you'll see at Comicon!)

Dimension paid an amputee model to pose as Cherry Darling. The machine gun is on the wrong leg, but no one seemed to mind. (Edit: So it IS on the correct leg. It's turned the wrong way, though.) You could barely get through the aisles when she was out posing:

Here's Cory and I with a Bender:

Here's the best shot that Alyssa took of my favorite costume. This guy was an old-time Ghostbuster. It's a shame you can't see inside the proton pack, because it had a glass window and cogwheels inside. As far as costumes go, it's one handle-bar mustache away from being completely perfect:

I guess this one might cross the line between celebrity and costume, but here is the coolest man this side of Cloud City, ELVIS TROOPER!

George Barris, one of the coolest people in the history of the universe, made an appearance with one of his greatest creations, the 1960’s Batmobile. If only the Munster Koach or Dragula had been there, too.

One of the ultimate highlights for me was the brief Monster Squad signing that went down at the Lionsgate booth. It was dumb luck really – I just happened to be walking past when some guy was telling a group of clueless people that the cast and director would be doing a signing. So I stuck around and got my signed Monster Squad DVD. Fred Dekker is a longtime hero of mine, and his autograph is my favorite from the Con.

I could’ve paid money and gotten a few more autographs, but I’ve grown a bit uncomfortable with paying someone for an autograph. (Plus I’m a cheap-ass.) The closest I came to paying for an autograph was for Ernie Hudson. I was shocked to see him there, wearing a Ghostbusters t-shirt and posing for photos with paying customers. Marc Singer was also signing for money, but he didn’t have the sweet floor location that Mr. Zeddemore had. El Beastmaster was stuck outside on the second floor, about as far away from the actual convention as you can get. There he sat, with a large vinyl sign behind him that proudly declared “Beastmaster III – Now on Video Cassette and Laser Disc.”

So without many autographs on my mind, I instead made it a priority to get some sketches from comic artists. I didn’t get a whole lot, but the ones I did get were amazing:

Geoff Darrow went to town on this two-page sketch. It was the first in the book and I seriously considered not getting any more. It's hard to compare with this:

I'm glad I kept getting sketches, though. I asked Becky Cloonan to just draw whatever she felt like, and this is what she came up with. I love skulls with intact eyeballs, and tentacles are never bad either. Two great tastes that taste great together.

Here's a Cassanova sketch by Gabriel Ba. It seemed like he spent more time drawing it in his head than he did drawing it on the paper.

Being that this was the first time I’ve been to Comicon, I can’t really use that gripe that it’s not about comics anymore. I did, however, observe that other media, especially movies (and ANIME!) dominate. You could actually walk through the aisles near the comic vendors and artists. The longest wait I had for a sketch was just under an hour (for Jeff Smith, no less).

I guess I shouldn’t really complain about movies dominating comics, though. The winner of the award for coolest thing I did at Comicon: a screening of the new colorized version of 20 Million Miles to Earth – with live commentary/Q&A with Ray Harryhausen. The autograph whore in me regrets not getting anything signed by him, but I guess watching one of his movies with him makes up for it. He comes of a bit crotchety at times, but he’s really just super-candid and still extremely passionate about his craft. (And if you’re wondering – the colorization of the movie is extremely well done.)

Apparently there is an Iron Man movie coming out. I think I overheard someone talking about it.

One thing about the Con that I couldn’t get over was the smell. It’s beyond comprehension and it defies description. Over a month later, the smell still creeps into my nose. I wake up screaming just thinking about it. I may need olfactory counseling.

As for the overall experience, I had a blast and I would do it all over again. I drank very much, slept very little, met some cool people, ate a fresh Simpsons donut at 3 AM, ralphed in Ralph’s, and discovered the wonderful rejuvenating powers of Vitamin Water.

Viva la Comicon!

Happy Birthday, Sid Haig!

2007-07-14T15:24:00.001-07:00

Remember that time you pointed at me? That was great.

Gooble-Gobble! One of Us!

2007-07-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

If you've seen Transformers, chances are that you saw the super-mysterious trailer for an unnamed movie (that's apparently named Cloverfield). The trailer's not online, at least not legally, and I can't imagine that it will be. While I'm sure there's more to it than meets the eye (sorry), it basically looks like a giant monster flick.

UPDATE: The trailer's online here.

The movie (sort of) has a website: Ethan Haas Was Right , an eerie site filled with brain-teasing Flash games. Complete one of them and mystery man tells you that you've passed the test - "You're one of us," he says. Keep playing the games and you'll get a few more cryptic clues about Haas. (Sadly, there were no clues about Hoss, from Bonanza.) I've spent (or wasted, rather) more of my afternoon than I would've liked solving some of the puzzles and making myself feel smart. But I'm told by the creepy guy in the videos that I have to send more people to the site. So, just like a Starship Trooper, I'm doing my part.

(What's really funny about this site is that it has a counterpart, Ethan Haas Was Wrong. It's basically just a blog that shoots down the ideas and people behind the other site.)

If the trailer sparks a craving for giant monster movies, mark July 24th on your calendar. That's when the amazing Korean monster flick The Host hits DVD. It's loads of fun and miles better than any of the crap that's currently playing in theaters.

Speaking of, if you're wondering what I thought of Transformers, well, I can't say that I didn't have fun watching it. I can, however, say that it's a pretty terrible movie. The Transformers have come to Earth to get a pair of eyeglasses that they've seen listed on eBay. Really? Cars that run into robots and that's the best they could come up with for a plot? I'd love to go into detail on how shite it was, but I just don't want to waste the energon on it.

The Greatest Music Video Mix Ever

2007-06-05T23:36:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, I sat down and compiled the worst mix CD I could come up with. (Let me know if you want a copy, I'll happily hook you up.) I've been wanting to do some sort of follow up, and while I was tooling around on youtube this evening it hit me - a music video mix. So here the are - the same rules apply to this and the CD: You have to watch each one in its entirety - and absolutely NO skipping ahead.

Enjoy - or not, as the case may be.

If I ever get into a barfight, this is the song I want playing in the background...

I'm not quite sure what this song is even about. Women's shoes?

Dude is ugly. No wonder she dumped his ass..

Mis hermanos...

Like HE wasn't going to pop up on here somewhere...

She wrote this song about me, you know...

He wrote this song about me, you know...

Okay, so here's a carry over from my CD. I couldn't not use the video. He's such a cute little frog...

Now if only I could find his energy drink...

Am I the only one that remembers these 'Guys'? lol

Zack Attack is one of the greatest bands ever to emerge from an awkward sitcom aimed at pre-teens...

Jesse and the Rippers ARE the greatest band ever to emerge from an awkward sitcom aimed at pre-teens...

Who brings a saxophone to the beach? (Besides that dude from Lost Boys. He's awesome.)

I know it's not meant to be serious, but it's not really funny, either...

Seriously, whose idea was it to put these two together? Canada has some answering to do...

I really can't think of anything funny to say about this one. It says plenty on its own...

This one makes me feel a little empty inside. Why? Because I will never, ever, find anything that tops this...

Oh, wait. Nevermind. I think this one tops it...

A Couple More Birthdays...

2007-05-26T23:59:00.000-07:00

Alyssa reminded me that today is not only Vincent Price's birthday, but also Christopher Lee's. Christopher Lee is my favorite movie Dracula, and Vincent Price is pretty much my favorite everything else. So cheers to these fine horror icons. Lee is 85, while Price would be 96 if he were alive today. Better start planning a party for the century mark, Vincent.

No one is even remotely close to doing now what these guys did in their careers. Except for maybe Lee himself, that is. He's still going at it, which really just proves that point even more. The way things usually go, the older someone gets, the less work they get - especially playing villains in epic sci-fi/fantasy trilogies. The roles he's played over the last few years, though, could've only been played by him. He was the easily best thing in the Star Wars prequels. And if you can think of a better person to play an evil wizard, I will legally change my name to Tom Bombadil.

As for Mr. Price, when House on Haunted Hill was remade, Geoffrey Rush was cast in Price's role and didn't stray too far from his footsteps, either. It took an Academy-Award winning actor to slum it a bit just to get close to filling his shoes. Any of his other movies that have been remade usually avoid a Vincent Price character altogether. He is impossible to replace.

If you're interested in watching a couple of Christopher Lee and/or Vincent Price movies, why not go with The Oblong Box and Scream and Scream Again, two of the three movies they starred in together. They're available on the same double-feature DVD from MGM, so it's convenient, too!

So in honor of the big day, here's a (birthday?) cake recipe from Vincent Price.

Chocolate Layer Cake

Cake:
1. Preheat oven to moderate (350 degrees F.)

2. Grease and flour two 8-inch round layer cake pans.

3. Cream together: 1/2 cup butter and 1/2 cup sugar. Beat in: 3 drops vanilla extract, a pinch of salt, and...

3 eggs.

4. Sift together: 1 cup self-rising flour and 1 tablespoon cocoa and stir into egg mixture.

5. Stir in 1 tablespoon hot water.

6. Divide the batter into the prepared pans and spread evenly over bottom making a layer about 1/4 inch thick. Bake in the moderate oven for 15 minutes. Remove, cool, loosen edges with knife, and turn out on cake racks.

Filling:
Cream: 1/4 cup butter and 1 cup confectioners' sugar. Stir in 2 ounces semi-sweet chocolate, melted, and 2 drops vanilla extract.

Icing:
Put into mixing bowl: 3 ounces semi-sweet chocolate and 1 tablespoon butter. Place bowl in skillet containing simmering water. When chocolate and butter are melted, remove from heat and stir in: 1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar and 2 tablespoons cocoa.

Presentation:
Put the two thin layers of cake together with the filling and swirl thechocolate icing over the top.

(This recipe and many more can be found in the book A Treasury of Great Recipes by Mary and Vincent Price, originally published in 1965.)

Happy Birthday, You Old Pirate!

2007-05-25T00:27:00.001-07:00

Star Wars is 30 years old today. I don't mean Episode IV or A New Hope or whatever it is the kids are calling it these days. The first one - the movie simply named Star Wars - was first released 30 years ago today. No Jabba the Hutt, no Greedo shooting first, not even a subtitle. Just plain old Star Wars.

So go bake a cake and put some action figures on it. But only the loose ones. I'd hate to see what icing would do to a carded figure. Nanu.

New DVDs This Week

2007-05-18T12:29:00.000-07:00

If you’re like most moviegoers, you probably slept in the day The Fountain opened and missed out on it. The theater-to-video window has gotten so short that the six months that it’s taken it to get to DVD has seemed uncommonly long. It’s funny - I remember waiting for a year or more for some movies to make it to VHS. Attention spans just keep getting shorter, I guess.

As for The Fountain, I can totally see how someone could find it to be completely pretentious and self-important. It’s pretty heavy and leaves a lot up to the viewer to sort out. I don’t mind movies like that, so long as the filmmaker is not trying to prove how "smart" they are. There’s nothing worse than watching a movie and feeling like it’s not just over your head, but it’s trying really hard to go over your head. It’s like trying to have a conversation with two people that are sharing an inside joke. You want to reach out and knock their heads together Stooges-style. So yeah, it’s one of THOSE movies.

Thankfully, I didn’t have that experience with The Fountain, not at all. Back in November, I was lucky enough to go to a screening with Darren Aronofsky. He described the movie as an experience, and that’s very fitting. You simply can’t watch this movie the way you would, say, Music & Lyrics or Timecop. It doesn't really have a linear plot, there’s no giant monster to be exploded at the end, and there’s no crazy old man to pop up and deliver some exposition-filled rant that explains exactly what’s going on. You just have to sit back with an open mind and let the movie do its thing.

At the Q&A after the movie, someone asked Aronofsky what it meant. He answered the question with a question: “What did it mean to you?” There’s not a secret code, and there is no hidden agenda at work here. It’s completely open to interpretation. Well, my interpretation is that it’s good and worth watching. But if you’re into movies that play by the rules, Music & Lyrics really is good. I wasn’t knocking it. As for Timecop, well, you don’t need any brainpower to enjoy that gem.

Pan’s Labyrinth, probably my favorite movie of last year, is also on DVD this week. If you missed it in theaters, there’s absolutely no excuse for not seeing it now. I’m psyched to crack into the extras on the 2-disc edition. For my money, Guillermo del Toro does the best commentaries around, and I’ve been foaming at the ears to listen to this one. It’ll probably be enough to pry me away from Three’s Company.

For a few hours, anyway.

Tripper Jack, M.D.

2007-05-15T23:51:00.000-07:00

I’ve just about shaken off a nasty cold/sinus infection that put me on my ass for the better part of a week. I got behind on a lot of things that I want and need to do, among which is post on here. I’m going to try and make up for it by posting a few times this week.

Even though I can’t stand being sick, I do like that it gives me the perfect excuse to curl up on the couch and watch hours of guilt-free TV. When this first hit me, it hit me pretty hard, with headaches and a sore throat and lots of snot. So needless to say, I didn’t really feel like watching anything with subtitles or a lot of substance. And anything lasting over 30 minutes would’ve been asking a lot, too. So thank the maker that I’ve got friends like Janet, Chrissy, and Jack.

I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I love Three’s Company. It’s easily my favorite sitcom, if not TV show in general. I’ve had the first six seasons on my DVD shelf for a while now, but only watched them for the occasional pick-up episode. So with the intention of planting myself on the couch and not getting up for a while, I started with season one, episode one, and began the chronological trek through the entire Three’s saga. One week later, I’ve found myself a few episodes into season three.

So I guess I’ve traded one disease for another. Instead of having a head full of snot and sinus pressure, I’m hopelessly addicted to Three’s Company. I think what’s keeping me going is the strong level of continuity. Seriously, the show practically has its own mythology. Larry and Jack talk about a girl in an episode, then three episodes later she pops up at the apartment. Roper offhandedly offers to sell his car to Jack at the end of one episode – a couple of episodes down the line the offer becomes the main plot. I won’t even get into Chrissy’s alternating parental visits, Janet’s struggles becoming the manager of the flower shop or all those changing roommates and landlords. If every episode ended with a cliffhanger, it would rival Lost.

While it was probably the rest I got while watching Three’s Company that got me back on my feet, I prefer to think it was the magical healing powers of Christmas Snow, Jack Tripper, and Janet Wood.

Who Ya Gonna Call?

2007-04-17T13:05:00.000-07:00

Probably not these guys, huh?

I'm a bit of a purist with most things, so "did it first" and "did it best" are usually the same thing to me. Here's one of those rare situations where the two don't quite match. Before Venkman, Stanz, Spengler and Zeddemore donned jumpsuits and proton packs, Jake, Eddie and Tracey were The Ghost Busters. It was a low-budget kids show (produced by Filmation, the kings of low-budget kids programming in the 70's and 80's) that aired on CBS starting (and ending) in 1975. The basic plot involves Spencer, Tracy, and Kong (Kong is not the gorilla, that's Tracy. Makes sense, right?) running a ghost busting operation. They zap their ghosts with a dematerializer and get their orders from Zero, a mysterious voice-only character who gives them self-destructing messages through a junk store. It's a bit like Mission: Impossible, Charlie's Angels and The Odd Couple, with just a bit of The Munsters and Scooby-Doo thrown in, too.

My first exposure to The Ghost Busters came on VHS in the mid-eighties. No doubt released to capatilize on the success of the 1984 movie that we all know and love, three different tapes where released that featured just 3 of the series' 15 episodes. SI Video had one of these tapes, and it was a frequent rental for me. A few years ago, I was lucky enough to find a copy of it as a VHS liquidation sale. The cover alone brings back so many memories...

Notice how they qualify it as The Original Ghostbusters? Well, there was a big legal flap between Filmation and Columbia around the same time that was eventually settled out of court. That's the reason why the cartoon based on the movie was called The Real Ghostbusters, and not just Ghostbusters. Filmation beat Columbia to the punch on that one, too, producing a Ghost Busters cartoon based on the live-action TV series. I'm extremely fond of the cartoon - it's a perfect example of what was so great - and so terrible - about Filmation cartoons. What I really love, though, is that it actually followed the continuity of its live action predecessor. The sons of the original Ghostbusters are the animated heroes. The animated series even begins with a five-episode story arc that bridges that gap between live-action and cartoon.

I've been hoping for both the live-action and animated series to find their way to DVD for years. The complete series of the live-action series finally came out this past Tuesday, and the first of two volumes of the animated series has been out for a few months. My first reaction when watching both of these was, "Wow! This is no where near as good as I remember it being." I guess that's the problem with these long-forgotten shows coming out on DVD. Enjoying something because of the nostalgia factor is built more around how it made you feel at the time, not the quality of what's actually being put on the screen. Luckily, the folks who put these DVDs together understand that and have packaged an unbelievable ammount of extra features on these. If you're a total geek and actually remember the Ghost Busters, you'll be all over these sets like ecto-plasm on a focused, non-terminal, repeating phantasm.

Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Grindhouse

2007-04-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

Please Go See Grindhouse. Emphasis on the GO part of that. Don’t wait for the DVD. Get off of your lazy butt and go to a movie theater or drive-in. The movies will more-than-likely be released separately on DVD, so this may be your only opportunity to see Planet Terror and Death Proof as one big event. Even if this movie is released on DVD as is, it’s meant to be seen on the big screen, preferably with a big, rowdy audience. Several drinks beforehand (and/or during) are also helpful, but not required.

I’m normally not the type to bitch about a movie’s low box office. The movie-going public has made hits out of crap and bombs out of gold. It's just the way things go. What is it that William Goldman says? No one knows anything. There is no perfect formula for creating a hit, and no real logic to it, either. It's usually just a matter of what has worked well in the past. If something is a monster hit, expect a lot more of it. If something isn't a hit, don't expect to see much more of it. Whenever you buy a ticket for a movie, you not just saying, "One for Are We There Yet?," you're saying, "Please make more movies like Are We There Yet?, oh dear, sweet gods of Hollywood." Do you know what happens if enough people say the same thing? Are We Done Yet? happens.

So it goes with the disappointing box office of Grindhouse. We can forget about getting another double-bill from Rodriguez, Tarantino, or any other director that would've gotten the opportunity to contribute to a series of movies like this. I had hoped that maybe Easter weekend was a buzz-kill for the movie and that business would pick up over the Friday the 13th weekend. No such luck as it turns out. Yesterday, Disturbia - which, judging by the trailer, is a tween version of Rear Window - was cleaning up. Grindhouse was not. Perfect Stranger - starring Bruce Willis and Halle Berry, not Bronson Pinchot and Mark Lynn Baker - even did way better than Grindhouse. Moviegoers have spoken.

At this point, Grindhouse is about as cooked as J.T.'s BBQ. I have no hopes that if enough people see Grindhouse it will suddenly become a hit. No, I'm only pleaing with folks to see it because this is probably the last time we'll get to see something like this. It's not just two movies for the price of one, it's a full 3 hours and 12 minutes of a moviegoing experience. There is nothing else out there like it. See it now before it's gone. But if you'd rather see some banal crap aimed at the lowest common denominator, don't worry. There's plenty of it out there and it's just going to keep coming.

Shiny Balls and Disks

2007-04-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

The Tall Man is back on DVD today, so make praise to the horror movie gods. If you never picked up the lovely MGM edition of Phantasm, here’s your chance to own an improved version. If you already have the MGM edition, this is well worth the double-dip. And if you’ve never seen Phantasm, hit yourself. Hard. In the face. With a hammer.
All self-mutilation humor aside, Phantasm is one of the great horror movies of the 70’s and a personal favorite of mine. It’s great to see Anchor Bay put this out. They’ve done some of the best horror DVD releases around, and, apart from their tendency to triple- and quadruple-dip on certain titles (read: Evil Dead), they’ve set the standard for releasing catalog horror. It’s a shame that they weren’t able to release the 5 disc collection from the UK (all 4 Phantasmses with a disk full of bonus material, all housed in a sphere-shaped case) here in the states, but this edition is still pretty sweet. It has most of the content from the MGM release, plus a truncated version of the extras from the UK set. Go here to read DVDTalk.com’s review. Apparently, the transfer has been improved from all the previous releases. I may have to buy it after all.
In addition to Phantasm, Anchor Bay has also released Phantasm III today, for the first time in the US . Just like the original, it includes a few extras from the UK set. I’m not as big on this installment as I am on the first two, but it’s still fun to watch.